I have misunderstood love. When you’re young love is like a boxing day sale — you grab more than you need because it’s cheap, then ignore it because you really didn’t need it. It’s sad sleeping naked on the floor, it’s sadder to be shacked up with your pride snoring inside you, whether loved or alone.

This is in not an apology to any of the girls I offended in my last rant though it should be. It is an apology to god who I have offended by breaking his favorite law: love my creation.

I have a heart of glass. If it shatters one more time it will become sand. As protection I hid behind the mask of a blow hard. I go a little crazy without my heart and say any sort of mad thing like my head were cut off. But I’ve resolved to stop faking being happy or tough when I’m not, and with my little glass heart I’m rarely either. I don’t love trouble, I don’t have the spleen for trouble. I’ll stop pretending I do and instead strive for contentment like it would be reasonable for one of my true gall.

All these years and I’m still not a man, if anything I’m more of a child for accepting the bad habits in myself I have not been able to fix. This may sound like part of the twelve-step plan, but I still have not taken step one. I’ve have unfortunately mastered the confessional. Something bad about a person who becomes very good at apologies, indicates they’re practiced.

It has been a cold quiet winter for me. I’ve talked to myself more than all others combined, and sometimes came to conclusions based on the little world I made for myself in my one room igloo. If I stay another year I’ll have to live with someone to infect them with part of my personality and unburden myself of it.

I’m a dog barking at a shadow at night in an empty yard. All my ideas and dreams are just regurgitated syntax slopped from above. We must rise above ourselves, and I have failed to do so in the things I’ve said on this forum.

While I should ask Gonzo to remove some of my more offensively personal comments over the last month I won’t. Let it be an example of how someone can stab themselves with their own knife. All my efforts to appear hard done by were so heavy handed they justified any conduct one might resort to to be done with me. My anger had nothing to say about love.

Although not a jot less alone than other months, I feel much less lonely. I won’t however blame anyone who tired of my histrionics.

Man it was pretty funny, and I get pretty mad sometimes, and you know some of them, they really deserved what i had said here, but you know, I am not the dispenser of karma, I better shut my pie hole because a couple of the girls I slagged in what was once a rant here, really didn’t deserve it.

–Adolf Kafka
May 14, 2006

It’s not just women who deservedly get bitch slapped through life. Regardez glass jaw, pie eatin’ John Kerry tete care. (There must be something else behind it in his case. I’m thinking he can’t call Bush on rigging the election because he rigged the democratic primary to defeat Dean.) Or former premier of B.C. Glen ‘moustache dance’ Clark who resigned over a Greek buddy fixing his porch for free. What the hell is that? Campbell never resigned after cruising blotto down the road in Hawaii. He feigned remorse and got re-elected.

Now we have ‘Pizza-Gate’. Mon dieux. The least news worthy event since ‘Nipple-Gate’. Pizza. Buy one at regular price and get up to five for five dollars each, and a minister resigns. The pizza that was heard round the globe. While Dick Cheney (What a great porn name, my second favorite. My favorite is Luba Goy, from air farce. Sounds like the name of a yid porn movie.) still picks up paychecks for Halliburton, while Dubya’s dad sits on the board of the Carlyle Group, while our prime minister dodges Canadian taxes by owning (no, I signed it over to my cat) a multimillion dollar shipping company as an offshore asset. Cute. No Paul, the ships are offshore, but the gelt is in your bankbook. Now these guys have chutzpah, they know how to rule. They are unflinching in their hypocrisy, and it’s admirable.

I found a copy of the Winnipeg Sun in the garbage and their editorial on this matter had phrases such as “wasn’t cut from ministerial cloth” (some catholic allusion?) and “came into power with a promise to run a squeaky clean government…would not tolerate even a hint of impropriety.” Not even a hint? Gee that’s rather sanctimonious. A politician without a hint of impropriety? Not even a hint? Not even free pizza for campaign workers? What’s the good of power if you can’t get a lousy free pizza out of it? All the old boys must pity her taking these attacks at face value, but if that’s how she’ll play it, there’s not much they can do.

The Martin Liberals were not elected on a promise to “run a squeaky clean government”, an oxymoron at best, but really a Pollyanna. The Martin Liberals were given a minority mandate to not lynch the homos, privatize the nation, or wear jeans and a blazer. They were given a weak mandate, on an anything but the Conservative stump.

Imagine my favorite politician, Lucien Bouchard, dealing with the matter of pizza and strippers. He would laugh those guys right out of parliament:

‘So, you have something against Romanian strippers? You want your daughter to ride the pole instead? Pizza, is that what we pay the bills on this parliament to argue over? Sure he gave me some pizza, it was tasty. It was so good, I think he should stay in this country. You want to send him back to India cause he gave me a pizza? Good thing you’re not in power.’

Lulu would not suffer such fools, but Judy Sgro did, and that’s why she’s not a minister. It’s not about pizza or strippers but her willingness to suffer fools. That is an unpardonable sin in power. Instead of pizza, Sgro should have ordered a couple of wontons. No one with balls would allow something so inane as ‘Pizza-Gate’ to get out of the starting blocks.

Our headlines are ‘Pizza-Gate’ or ‘Woman loses mitten’ (National Post). In Jesusland it’s ‘Thousands dead for no reason’, ‘Worse than Saddam’, ‘Four more wars’ and ‘Nation bankrupt’. Given a choice, I’m glad to live in the poorest nation on earth for political satire. It makes cynicism our largest import, as we have so little to be bothered by here.

p.s. I wrote this two weeks ago. A week ago Gonzo told me to update as it turned out “The guy was a shady character because he was being immediately deported.” Sure I’ll comment on that:

• don’t fuck even with Liberals or they’ll deport you.
• good thing they deported him before they finished investigating the case.
• fifteen years he should have been deported and he goes this week? Keep him around a while longer, now he’s interesting.

Nobody knows this case in great detail. But as soon as it gets interesting the only guy who isn’t a political windbag is deported. Why don’t they deport that Conservative guy Harper to Amerika where he belongs? He’s the real fraud artist. He’s in parliament…as the guy that leads the other party. He has no platform except for that prune face. ‘Vote prune face for a prune nation’.

I’m going crazy in my igloo, my prison. I’m randy in my stir. I been thinking about them bitches, how when I get my hands on one who wants her hands on me, I’ll be over her like sweat. I’m grampa in ‘the grapes of wrath’ and his chicken fried steak. I’m wild eyed, hungering in my igloo for something warm and risky, possessed with a yearning, chilled to the cockles Blanche Dubois’ banquet hall and ball, with spiderwebs and black and white in black and white, and did I steal a kiss or just wish I had?

Where are those wonderful bitches from yesteryear? Where are those fits and chills and three a.m. fights and late night visits and back lane sex and swimming pools? Where’s the playful douche, the bloody sheets, the loud sex, hallway sex, sex at work, sex on the road, the bathroom, elevator, kitchen, bathtub, quickies at lunch, all night sessions after a week apart. I miss it all. I miss every moment of everything.

I’m a son of a bitch who wants a bitch like married dumb old dad. I wanna love the craziest woman in the world. I’m gonna find her, I been searching, been searching every which way…

Oh my little glass unicorn! Or was that was my glass jaw. These women were all sweethearts. I’m the fool. I’m Blanche Kowalski, aging polack in a last fleeting search for love. A sentimental cad hoping he hasn’t tricked his last girl into the sack. The polack was so proud of his gold metal he had it bronzed. I miss the love I lost especially when she walks around in those panties.

I love them panties. Better even than naked, panties and a tee. Can’t argue with a woman in panties and a tee. Get some damn clothes on girl I’m mad at you right now. Panties sounds so nice. All wrapped up, soft little puff, fluff of pubic hair, crinkled paper protecting a jewel. You know they’ll take them off for you if you help them. Panties and a tee, served up nice, just for you.

I love them in a bathrobe. Hot and dripping, stewed and fragrant, wet hair on the pillow. You reach your hand in, pick up a bird, your fingers slide between the feathers. I was a teenager delivering fliers and a young wife in a bathrobe opened the door and received the flier. I wanted one of those. Some sweet warm thing in slippers and a bathrobe who loves me, who I work my ass off to impress enough to keep around in that bathrobe to open it just for me.

I love them drunk and pie eyed, swinging into you shy and ready. I love the little ones who can drink more than me. I love the big ones who’ll knock me down, or I can’t carry to the bathroom. I love that my long-term relationships began with drunken sex. We fell into each other, and we stuck.

I’m a miserable bastard and sometimes the bitches taught me joy. They didn’t just bring me joy by being with me, they taught it to me, and that’s why they were a joy to be with. I think they wanted to make me happy, all of them. And now they’re all gone. I love all them bitches. I’ll never see any of them again.

I call them bitches is because I was too stupid to satisfy any of them. Their hair slipped through my fingers, I fell back on my futon in my one room igloo, turned on the radio to crack the silence. If any of them could be here now, with a sweet “How dare you”, I would cry.

The votes had to come from somewhere right? They didn’t just patch a sign value 18181 across every precinct and award it to Bush, did they? Nah. They’ve only found that in a couple hundred cases. The Christian right gave them those votes. Everyone knows they travel in groups of 18181. I’m sure Kerry was awarded all sorts of… he wasn’t? Well it coulda just as easily…quarter billion to one you say the odds of the exit polls for three entire states wrongly going for Kerry…Elected president of the Ukraine steps down because his victory went against the exit polls. Damn reds. I digress. It doesn’t matter how Dubya did it. All that matters is that the sheep will do nothing about it, and that someone will come forward and claim credit for it. And that group calls itself pro-life.

‘Pro-Life’ for Fallujah? Insurgent abortion doctors. That’s why they took over control of Fallujah’s only hospital. Merikan general said hospitals must be locked down to suppress insurgent propaganda. Like the story I read last night of a nurse being handcuffed while trying to assist a woman giving birth. Musta been an insurgent baby. Must have, there’s no citizens in Fallujah. All citizens were allowed to leave. Except all men between 15 and 55, who were pronounced de-facto insurgents. Kinda biblical really. You kill four Merikan mercenaries and we’ll kill every healthy male in your city. Every citizen of the ‘City of Mosques’ except all healthy men to be shot dead on site (OK, Johnny Crew-Cut will see: these men are quite familiar with that bible). The women can drag the weak and old out into the desert if they like to be shot at and starve with no facilities or provisions. Then they can return to their bombed out homes, have a quick retinal scan and sweep up the napalm. Saw pictures of dead baby insurgents coming out of Fallujah. Them photos were probably doctored, certainly the babies weren’t.

Worse than Hitler yet? That will be up to the coalition of the unwilling. It will be of little more than semantic importance whether the actions of George W Bush are now worse than Hitler; worse than Caligula; or merely worse than the Pinochet. What they certainly are, they are insufferable. This world leader who was never legitimately elected; and didn’t own a passport before stealing office, has almost single-handedly turned the world, the whole fucken world against Amerika. Dubya called this war, asked for support, and of all the world’s armies only the Brits were ‘willing’. He’ll not stop with Iraq that’s plain. With soldiers and credit cards maxed, a pre-emptive war against Jesusland may find more nation’s armies willing.

But this must be what he and the insane hypocrites of the Christian right are looking for. It’s not enough to force women into having their rapist’s children or to scapegoat the homos. That’s not enough by far. The hubris of these Anglo-Christians imagines the world seeing Merika as a great democracy (two consecutive bogus elections?) or a cultural bastion (Britney Spears? Nipple-gate? RAW is WAR?) or moral bulwark (“He’s dead now”). Failing that, at least Merika is an untouchable Super-Power, right? Sorry but the Vegas line on the rapture doesn’t have the smart money going to the nation that borrows money from the rest of the world to bomb it. Trillions in debt, army stretched to the limit, Merika doesn’t have the means to usurp Canada, never mind Iran, Syria, North Korea, and Cuba. Maybe the apocalyptic madmen were looking for a fight, they never counted on the idea they might lose.

The rapture won’t be pro-life.

Some day soon, the righteous will march into Jesusland USA and get Fallujah on the their BGH Burger King asses. And if the prophet descends to watch the show, I’ll bet what I hold precious and intangible (my ability to maintain an erection) that he won’t be crowding heaven with fifty six million Jim and Tammy Faye Bakers. The bible loves Babylon, is indifferent to Birmingham. GWB will see a coalition of nations, a true coalition of god-fearing people who’ll do something about the worst rogue state puppet dictatorship in modern history. That nation must be aborted, for the sake of the children.

I’m sorry boys for not being around for the past six months. I know that there’s been a lot on the political scene, what with the Amerikans committing war crimes in I-raq and Dubya stealing an election from that glass jaw pie eating skull and bones paper dragon coif head Kerry. But I had my own problems. I moved to Winnerpeg. Hard times. Bad woman. I was temporarily shocked. Shocked there could be such a thing as a bad woman.

Got the same Baba as Gonzo. She prophesized to me “they shit out the same hole as you do”. Now I was fourteen at the time of hearing this information so it might be understandable if it took years to fully digest. The gist, for any aging fourteen year-olds out there, is that the shitty, malicious sociopathic lies you wish to proffer to your wenches for their thang, they proffer under similar ‘rules of engagement’.

In a free society “He’s dead now” would of course be the war crime slogan for the Bush impeachment. Likewise gentlemen, please embrace your pathology, realize your well founded disrespect of the other’s sociopathy, know that you would invert the golden rule disregarding the unspoken karma and fuck others who have fucked you and then cry over others who fucked you even though you fucked others.

Should have to write ‘fucked others’ a thousand times for messing with bad girls as I am always want to do. Why the bad girls? Because some of us are closet psychopaths. We are simply sociopaths who believe our own jive. Darling, let me save you: you are a psycho; accept it. Embrace it. Be dirty, and don’t hurt yourself for hurting back when your dirty girl messes you up.

I have personally made it a bad mission to make it with the worst girls I could see. Trouble girls you all would leave well alone. When I’m blue in between I feel I’m honest. I ain’t. I’m a shit and that’s why I like ‘em. I like ‘em dirty cause that’s who I am. I just sometimes forget cause of my silly little pathology.

Makin’ is takin’, to bring home the bacon you must have a nasty hubris. Let me tell you about God a la Dubya. As above so below. God don’t have the cattle eatin’ us. God ain’t a God for bein’ second place. God took this kingdom and gave it to us to make our nasty which we do with full recklessness. And if you ever been in any position of authority you know you gotta rule if youse the ruler, no matter what anybody thinks. He made us in his image. We are monsters. Humanity is inhuman. We are sociopaths. Our society speaks of law and rules but rewards those who circumvent those rules. Dubya won the election in the sense that he successfully stole it from the ‘democrats’. Pericles, the military dictator of democratic Athens knew that he got the reach around and accepted he got jived in the jive game.

I’ve got nothin’ bad to say about Dubya because chump Kerry let him do it.
I got nothin’ bad to say about Lydia because I been a criminal of love and God willin’ (which he is) I’m a gonna do it again, soon as I get my mojo back.

Happy huntin’ y’all. Getting my nut sack back, and hope king of Ketchup does the same. Not for this election, but maybe some office blowjob or other war-crime the democrats like to call nasty. Merika’s a nasty nation. Part of is their sociopathy a la CNN. Only shit above and below is believin’. Never stop not believin’. It, they, everybody’s all jive. We are all born to jive, and good God he wouldn’t have it any different.

Let me tell you: An Allegory or Anti-prayer.

Some just need a little prayer every day.
While for the most wicked,
we have built expensive edifices, sanitized of sin.
God doesn’t like me talking this way.
Jesus asked for a pebble and was given temples.
But it’s still good business and gets his name out there.
Just remember: all satanists are christians,
And doves don’t waste their Sundays in church rafters.
The devil quotes scripture,
And on this continent now, few else do.
Not all alcoholics are in AA,
Nor are all sinners in church,
But all in church are sinners.
They all got a problem,
And they think your’s is worse.

Beware the righteous psychopaths.
They’ll go after you first.

It gets revealed that soldiers and private contractors, on order from above ‘softened up’ Iraqi citizens in Saddam’s worst prison. Of the three thousand prisoners only ten have ever been charged with anything. So the rest are there without rights or charge, detained indefinitely just in case they know some one who knows something. This is the freedom which Amerika has brought to Iraq. And somehow some two faced sons of bitches have been given the full-time job of justifying it.

They are taking two approaches. The first is to say that they deserve it because they’re murderers and rapists and there’s a war on and Amerika has to do whatever they want (have to) to protect their troops. First of all there’s not a war on, it’s over and they won. Now set the peace and fuck off. Why, if there’s no enemy, but just Iraqi citizens, is there still an army shooting people? To set the domestic agenda? That’s none of their fucken business. This is an independent country, this is not Amerika’s country to do with what they see fit. Release their leader to an independent body. He is not an enemy combatant, he is the former president of Iraq. Right or wrong, he is not your possession. And of course the other point is they are not murderers and rapists these prisoners, very few have been charged. And even if they were rapists, raping them is not democratic justice.

It seems living in Saddam’s mansion has gone to Paul Bremer’s head and now he thinks he is Saddam. Fair enough, if that’s his act then he’s filling in the shoes nicely, and should in the end get the same treatment. Perhaps the Amerikan army should start bombing itself back to the stone age.

The other approach is this decapitation video released by ‘al Qaeda’. That’s got some Swiss cheese in it’s explanation. First: they never use the words al Qaeda in their video; second they’re all white guys; third this guy was obviously dead before being decapitated; fourth the guy who identifies himself as the leader has been known to be dead for months; fifth Berg was in Amerikan custody right until the day before this happened and even wearing Amerikan prison garb in the video; sixth the timing is too perfect. And I mean TOO perfect as it was supposedly in retaliation, yet he was murdered before the torture photos of the prisoners were released. Oops? No one will notice, they all still think Saddam blew up the World Trade Centre.

Tell you what: the same people who blew up the World Trade Centre are the same people who bombed the train in Madrid and the same people who gassed the Kurds in Iraq…and they’re the same people who are torturing Iraqis now.

Yep, lot’s of work for two faced sons of bitches. So much there’s little time to spare for domestic issues like saying Amerikan beef is safe because they’ve stopped testing their cattle, or that chopping down all the trees is fire prevention. So little time to build lies on lies, so many lies to build.

This arrest comes hard on the heels of the Martha Stewart incident where she was found to be the only person on Wall Street guilty of insider trading. The FBI has been closely examining the unsavoury characters on the food network for other links to terrorism. “After the Janet Jackson breast terrorism incident we can’t be too careful. More and more terrorism is occurring on television” FBI agent George Dykeface said, requesting anonymity.

Last week Emeril of ‘Emeril Live’ was detained indefinitely without charge for saying ‘Bam’ in a Los Angeles airport. Anthony Bourdain, author of Kitchen Confidential was arrested for harbouring weapons of mass destruction in a Confit of duck which was widely criticized for being too oily. Jamie Oliver asked to be detained but was considered not to be a threat to anyone in either the culinary or political world. “But my papillote, my terrine, I know French cuisine, even my mis en place is dangerous, arrest me!” Malheureusement, no one was interested. But the discovery of ‘freedom fries’ and ‘freedom toast’ in every diner in Amerika has sent the terror alert to ‘blue balls’. Mon dieux. Operators of donair shops and shwarma joints can expect to be ‘bombed back to the stone age’.

Once all the cooking show hosts are arrested and brought before Judge Joe Brown’s show trial, they will be whisked off to their Cuban vacation where they will be treated with a justice blind, hooded, and shackled. And if measures can be taken to never see a woman’s breast revealed before athletes are paid to beat each other senseless and break their bones for the good of the team, the world will be safe and secure once more for the protection of the interest of the corporation, the only interest left in our so called democracy.

Real news and commentary is becoming pointless. The truth is already absurd. What should I write about? Iraq being handed back to Saddam’s former generals? Two hundred billion spent to liberate a people from a torturer by bombing them and now torturing them? Some black comedy is complete in itself without comment. That’s becoming my problem. These guys are more absurd than I could make up, leaving me little place to go. The same bunch who tried to out the Tele-Tubbies is running the White House, it’s hard to compete with these clowns for comedy. And impossible to be serious with them because they’re clowns.

Amerika will hand over the keys to Iraq as soon as someone learns how to drive Amerikan style. The people of this backwards five thousand year old civilization will be taught Amerikan democracy, perfected over the last two hundred years (why it was a full generation ago that a black man was first allowed to use a white man’s toilet). When they learn to follow the rules they will for the most part not be beaten to death at road side check points or arrested indefinitely without charge. As soon as Amerika is assured that things in Iraq will be done their way, and they have been reimbursed for all the bullets they donated into Iraqi children, they will leave (except for the 14 permanent US military bases thank you very much).

Democracy sounds like an easy concept, but there’s a little more to it as Amerikans have learned, an they’ll be proud and well paid to teach it to these noble savages. The first thing to be learned from Amerikan politics is that democracy is a process, not a free for all. Sure Ralph Nader is the only honest candidate and the only one standing up for the people but don’t vote for him because he won’t win. Voting for who you want to win is a wasted vote. The only good vote is for the second worst candidate. This is taught to us by the state controlled media.

How can you have a state controlled media when it’s a democracy? Well it’s like trying to find the back end of a worm. The state is the rich and the rich is the state. There’s only a handful who have a democratic voice. For instance two guys in Canada own all the newspapers. If anyone who writes for these papers says anything they don’t like they’re fired, silenced. Those two guys tell you about the two guys you’re supposed to vote for to run the country. That’s democracy. And the difference between the two guys running is purely for show, like wrestling.

Wrestling needs to be explained because it’s a great symbol of western democracy. Two guys pretending to be fighting while the outcome is decided long before and the only thing that matters is selling tickets. Once the people of Iraq are sufficiently subdued they can have ‘protest’ and even ‘critics’ just not at this crucial time when it could actually make a difference. If Al Sadr waited a few months till there was nothing the Iraqi people could do about the soon to be imposed democracy, he could have been the ‘Iron Sheikh’ a well paid ‘fanatic’ striking fear and loathing into the hearts of the common sheep. [But seriously, Saddam's $2000 a bottle Napoleon era brandy must have gone to Paul Bremer's head to incite the Shi'ites against him over a widely ignored community paper.] Impotent protest goes to the heart of western ‘democracy’ and explains why piss-ants like me have been left alone. My defeatism confirms their power. Every form of impotent protest feeds the myth of democracy, from rags like this all the way up to Chomsky and Nader. And the secret service gets in the ring with us and pretends to be losing and we almost have them pinned and then Bam! A quick flip, a patented grip, and it’s all over but for the prancing.

By democracy Amerika doesn’t mean they give a rat’s ass about free and educated votes for strong and responsible candidates who care about issues of equality and justice. Think they spent two hundred billion dollars for that? Ha fucken ha. Was Dubya worried a Scud missile was going to destroy Texas, or that Iraq would compete with the CIA by sending Anthrax letters to opposition Democrats? Well I frankly don’t think Dubya even cares to be president any more. He’s fulfilled his mandate of starting perpetual war which will reap billions for his friends and partners, he’s saved Halliburton from bankruptcy and the hours are too long and the pay’s not very good.

The choices involved in the Iraq experiment in democracy are too bizarre to convincingly be about helping the Iraqi people or even helping his own re-election. Poorer, deader and polluted with tons of depleted uranium, this oil super-power is a third world shit hole and failed experiment for paunchy neo-cons. No skin off their teeth, if this intellectual exercise fails they’ll foist another over the next set of bodies. And even Amerikan democracy is unshaken by unprecedented audacity and war crimes. Their media is barely critical of a man who has used the constitution as toilet paper since getting into office. Hell, the bastard may even get re-elected, if he feels like it.

When will I see you again? When the sycophants are done I suppose. Conversations are never so dull as when your friend is lost to a flatterer. When the flatterer hits you, you don’t see of course. You’re a couple of brilliant people. It’s Bohemia all over again. The world is an amazing place made up of you and the person kissing your ass, but darling, it’s a circle jerk.

I sat politely for a couple hours then I started saying weird things just as a test. To the comment “I was in Africa and yada yada yada”, I said “I had a wart once.” In less than a minute the story was surpassed with an amazing tale of X tweezing out a wart with her nail clippers. Wow. And then more of how my friend I was with was so amazing and must be so happy being able to do what ever she wants with her life being so talented.

Envy fought with boredom to inspire my yawn and early departure. Hours have now passed and I must expect a jubilation which only comes from fond delusion while attempting to swallow my annoyance and neglect to describe the tedium of the source of my friend’s happiness. I hope I finish this soon so I can make last call before her return.

We sit at a trough. We pity barnyard animals for living to die and be consumed. But we are consumed by our consumption of liquor and vanity which are fed in tandem. We’re a bunch of idiots. We’re domesticated drunkards. Our fence which keeps us is our vanity. It’s a girl or a flattering friend or a place which looks like creativity. It’s an empty world and we’re nothing more than docile beasts fattened on consumption.

And now last call has past. I am back home and she’s not. The flatterer took her away somewhere. I have a channel which shows the security camera when she’ll return. I look at that instead of the bathing model infomercial 1-900 girls of spite who bore me, and my drunken dick is tired and sad for spite so I will try to finish quickly while I sadly wait. We are bad machines who are mechanically boring while also being emotionally mechanical. But even though it’s my ego which inspires this rant, I still think that woman was annoying who told my lover she was amazing; which I of course also think. I think she’s amazing but she’s not home. My machine is broken by that. I have a soul. I’m not just political. Some times I’m sad.

I have never loved perfectly. I don’t even think God has. That’s why (if it exists) it made us. In hopes that one of us will.