You like apples? How d’you like them apples?
Maybe, just maybe, the reason Apple has a small piece of the PC pie has less to do with M$’s monopoly, and more to do with the fact that they come off as a bunch of elitist snobs that don’t know what the fuck they’re doing?
Apple users on the bulletin boards that I’ve seen, regularly bitch/make fun that Windows always crashes and that MS is a huge evil monopoly and that Windows users are idiots (this despite the fact that the Apple switch commercials showcase a bunch of retarded yuppies who just couldn’t figure out how to use Windows).
Hmmm…crashes alot you say? MS is a huge monopoly eh? Windows users are idiots eh?
Well I can’t defend MS on the crashing part…if of course you are referring to the Windows 9x series (this includes the horrible Windows ME) and the versions of Windows that pre-dated Windows 95. However it’s not so clean cut as some Mac users would try and brainwash you into believing. I’ve also heard first hand testimony from Mac users that predecessors to OSX were at times just as persnickety as the older versions of Windows, and unlike Mac users, Windows users have long had the choice of using the rock solid Windows NT & 2000, precursors in the evolutionary chain that recently begat Windows XP.
Yes Windows NT & 2000 (mostly NT) can sometimes be an absolute pain in the ass when it comes to adding new hardware and playing modern games, but their existence was part of a well thought out plan on MS’s part to introduce the PC user to the stable OS, and most importantly the software developers to the NT Kernel (to those who aren’t geeks, think of the Kernel as the engine of a car, without precise knowledge of how it works engineers can’t properly develop the rest of the car around it).
You’d think that with all that Apple engineering talent we keep hearing about, Apple would have had the foresight to have the same sort of game plan for OSX, right? Heck no, that’d be too goddamned easy for them long hairs. So instead of getting the all important software developers used to their new vision of the Mac OS (which is a proprietary reconfiguration of an older version of the free, FreeBSD UNIX OS) by launching less sophisticated and robust versions (like MS did with Windows NT & 2000), they go ahead and dump the new OS in the laps of both the consumer and the developers at the same time and said “isn’t it pretty? it doesn’t crash! now go out and buy it cuz it looks so pretty! and you developers, we want all your old software redesigned so that it works in the native OSX environment in a maximum of 6 mths, so chop chop motherfuckers!” (paraphrasing)
‘clap, clap, clap’
Great idea Jobs, I guess we now have a better idea of what your slogan of “Think Different” really means. Is it “Think like a retarded monkey”? Or “We here at Apple set the rules, so you better do what we say, even if it doesn’t make a lick of sense”? Which leads me to my next point, why in the fuck should we feel sorry for Apple and listen to them? As discussed in a previous rant of mine, there is a great deal of circumstantial evidence supporting the fact that Apple wants to be just as big of a Monopoly as MS, possibly bigger. Since when are we as a Western society supposed to feel sorry for the bumbling wannabe monopoly or supervillan? The closest we’ve come is when it comes to Dr Evil. He means well, and tries really hard to get it right, but he just doesn’t make sense most of the time. I’d say we could even feel sorry for him, if it wasn’t for the fact that we’re always laughing at him for being such a fucking idiot. But this is a fictional character, which means to my knowledge that there is no real world equivalent. Wait, I just thought of one, Jean Chretien. The elected dictator who means well, but like Dr Evil, will never achieve full supervillan status, and will always remain a close second to another bumbling and “elected” dictator and supervillan, President George W(here’s my daddy?) Bush.
As for the recent war of the brains between Mac and Windows users, watching those annoying Apple Switch commercials either on TV or the web can basically write the rest of this rant for me, however I just cannot resist the temptation to mock but a few of the retarded yuppies that Apple has trotted out as it’s mascots for the new Mac-revolution that they keep throwing good money after bad at.
Janie Porsche, a dumb, slightly chubby blonde yuppie who claims to have saved Christmas with her PowerBook, when her dad couldn’t get his Windows PC to download pics from the new digital camera he got as a gift.
“Ms Porsche, you are a dumb cunt! Instead of blaming your dad’s PC, why don’t you blame the digital camera maker for not including drivers in the box? Have I mentioned that you’re a dumb cunt? And why the fuck did you bring your PowerBook to Christmas morning anyway? Did you buy the camera for your dad, and then throw away the drivers that came in the box just so you could come to your father’s rescue with your fucking laptop? Was this some sort of plan to get back at your father for not buying you that cherry red Volkswagen for you when you turned sweet 16? Or is it that you’re just one big, motherfucking cunt! Saved Christmas my ass, throw a cock in it!”
Bill Swan, a black yuppie father, complete with Bob Marley dreads and beard, complains about how he was trying to sleep one night when his daughter was trying to print a paper for school and the PC kept crashing on her. Mr Swan’s bright idea was to open up the PC and start digging through it to switch cables, and some of the cards around. He claims the Mac has been a dream for his family.
“Mr Swan, you sound like the type of person who, when their car starts making a funny noise, or breaks down, opens the hood and begins tugging at things and hitting components with a ball peen hammer hoping that this will somehow fix a problem that you know nothing about. Are you retarded? I think its a pretty safe bet that you are, and I think its also a pretty safe bet that MS didn’t intend any version of Windows for retards like yourself.”
Maybe if all these Apple assholes would stop wearing mock-turtlenecks, the right amount of oxygen would reach their brains where it belongs, and they would finally have the proper amount of brain power to join the rest of the human race.
You first need to be able to “Think” before you can “Think Different”.