Hip Parents Drive Another Nail into the Coffin of Modern Society
I don’t often read the National Post, but I have to admit there was a feature that caught my eye about a new social class of people: hip-HOPS. As in Hip, Home-Owning Parents. My bullshit detector went off so loud I was incapacitated for several minutes, but once I regained my bearings, I read the article.
Hot on the heels of the DINK (Double Income, No kids) movement, where the mantra of today’s society seems to be classifying people in acronyms, The Hip-HOP movement seems to trump all in nauseating self-serving arrogance. Hip-HOPs see no reason to curtail their groovy social lives just because of the arrival of some pesky children. To prove the point, London, England has seen the opening of the Third Place Club, a monthly event where Hip-HOPS can go to a bona-fide nightclub, complete with the latest drum n’ bass techno music and a bartender mixing drinks. Oh yeah, they take their kids as well, where they play in another room. Sure, the music is quieter than your average nightclub, and nobody gets sloshed, like your average nightclub, and the whole thing takes place on Sunday afternoon so not to interfere with bedtimes of children, but am I the only one who is shaking his head at this whole thing?
I think what I find most disturbing about this trend is the constant state of arrested development the twentysomethings of our society is in. It’s a condition that nothing seems to cure. Not graduation. Not getting married. Not having children. It seems to me that all in all, people should be looking forward to new phases of life, rather than hopelessly trying to preserve their fading youth. I gave up nightclub culture when I was 24, because I felt myself getting too mature for it. I’m not saying that I’m some kind of over-cultured snob, but I felt that nightclubs are the domain of kids. Once the novelty of getting drunk and having irresponsible sex with girls you’ve never met or would never see again wears off, it’s time to move on. I remember seeing older men and women, trying to blend in with the 18-21 crowd and dismally failing. I felt sorry for them. And let’s be serious for a moment… this is why nightclubs exist, period. Yes, I know there are some people who like the music (God knows why) or the atmosphere (I love to shout at the top of my lungs for hours on end to be heard) and have a good time, but the main reasons for nightclubs is sex and drink.
I suppose it’s not all bad. Children can learn important life lessons in this environment. You’re not going to learn about STDs, date rape drugs, binge drinking, cocaine, ecstasy, and unwanted pregnancies involving loudmouth, bar-hopping oafs in kindergarten. They say it’s never too young to start learning, but who knows? Just ask actor Jude Law and wife Sadie Frost who had to take their 3-year-old daughter Iris to the hospital after she swallowed a half a hit of ecstasy she found on the floor at a party. All of the sudden, the idea of bringing children into obviously adult situations isn’t cute anymore.
It’s not necessarily the aspect of taking children to a nightclub that bothers my sensibilities so much (although it’s hard to imagine the ambient lighting and atmosphere of a nightclub is good for a child’s development); it’s the idea that these parents want to have everything. They don’t understand the concept of sacrifice. “Just because you’re a parent doesn’t mean your life is over, and going clubbing with your kids is the best fun imaginable.” says the event’s producer Eddy Temple-Morris. No, life after parenthood isn’t over, but it’s definitely different from the pre-parenthood days. That’s the sacrifice you make when you have children. If you aren’t willing to make those sacrifices, then don’t have them. And if you’re the victim of an unwanted pregnancy? Too bad… that’s the price you pay for your irresponsibility. And I’m not suggesting for a moment that parents don’t deserve to have fun or a night out. But the idea that there’s an apparatus that allows for this kind of function to exist speaks volumes of the immaturity of today’s parents.
It either comes down to one of two ideas, and both of them I find repugnant. The article suggests that motherhood is coming later now than ever before, and that means that new parents have become entrenched in an established lifestyle that they don’t want to give up, so they simply include their children in their adult escapades. This idea is highly self-centered at best, and horribly irresponsible at worst. The other is given the high priority placed on trends among these people; it is now fashionable to have children, and to take your children out to events like this. Which makes me wonder: what happens when children are no longer trendy? Are they discarded to their bedrooms and given computers and televisions to shut them up? Again, who knows?
At least there is one dissenting voice among the madness. Clinical psychologist Michael Killoran Ross had this to say:
“I think there’s a new selfishness and that there’s something pathetic about young parents heading off to nightclubs… you get the impression that the children are fitting into the parent’s way of life, but there must come a point where things have to be centred on the child.”
But Peter Harden, publisher of the London Baby Book has a different take on the situation: “Older parents… have higher expectations. Their lifestyles have become ingrained and they are less willing to compromise on a whole range of areas.”
Corporations and advertisers, always keen on detecting blood in the water, have pounced. Maureen Hilton, senior retail analyst at Verdict Research says, “If parents trust and identify with a brand, they are more likely to choose that (brand) for their children. This is why we’ve seen companies like Diesel and French Connection branch out into children’s wear.” Well, if children are clubbing now, it’s important to do it in style.
Never mind about developing a child’s education or social perspective. The most important thing in the Western world is to maintain their hip status. The sad thing is, apply this ethic to society’s lower classes and it’s likely to elicit calls of child abuse. Put a kid’s room in your local watering hole and have Sunday afternoon gatherings and that place would be shut down faster than you could pound back your first Budweiser. But if you’re rich, that’s okay. Money hides everything and your children are accessories to your life of leisure. Party on!